Taisa and Chuui
by Yun Min
Summary: “As I walked away  I refused to look back” When Roy left for the North, what were his and Riza's thoughts? Royai, spoilers for end of anime and movie.


Taisa and Chuui 

A/N: Sticking authors note at the beginning, because sticking it at the end would spoil the story. The lines in italics are part of a poemy/play thingy that I wrote for my creative writing club (I was technically supposed to be ballroom dancing somwhere else, but who cares?) I hope people enjoy it and don't forget to read and review!

Disclaimer: Full Metal Alchemist belong to the wonderful Hiromu Arakawa, not me.

* * *

It was about a month after it that it happened. Not that that makes any sense. No sense at all. But, some understood it. 

But, for the sake of those who don't, let's rephrase it shall we. It was about a month after Roy Mustang killed the Fuhrer, that he had decided to demote himself to a corporal and flee to the north. Leaving his loyal subordinates, who had always followed him to the end, behind. And his loyal Lieutenant.

"_As I walked away - I refused to look back"_

Roy, who had had the determination to go against the Fuhrer's wishes, was now scared. He didn't want to look back, afraid of what he might see in his subordinates eyes. The fact that he had let them down, he was abandoning them. Roy might be strong, but there was one thing he could never bear.

And that was losing his friends.

Even if he had made that decision by himself. To leave them behind. To lose them.

"_As I stood there – I refused to tear my glance away"_

Riza Hawkeye stood just outside Military Headquarters. She was watching her superior officer, the one who's back she had sworn to protect, walk away from her, to a place where she couldn't defend him any more. Her eyes followed her Colonels every move, following the way he walked, and tracking the distance between them.

Why was it so hard to let him go? Riza never would know. She knew that, she had always known that. Letting Roy go would be the hardest thing she had ever had to do. Ishbal didn't compare.

"_The others looked upon us – I wonder what they thought?"_

Though there were surprisingly few people gathered to see a hero of the Ishbal rebellion off, there were some. But still, it was only Hawkeye and Mustang's other loyal subordinates. Breda, Havoc, Fuery and Falman. The four of them suspected however, that there were others around, they just wanted to give Roy and Riza some privacy.

They looked at the pair with strange eyes though. Raw emotion was been flung about the place, just in the air though, no one had said a word. Havoc could tell that both Roy and Riza wanted to scream at each other (he also suspected that they wanted to snog each other senseless, but now wasn't the time for that thought), but neither one could do it. He hated having to watch them like this. He knew that the others did too.

If Hughes had been there, he would've yelled some sense into Roy. Got him to see reason. Made Roy realise that everything he needed and wanted was at central. But Hughes wasn't there, and Riza hadn't got the courage to take Hughes's place. Not yet.

"_Taisa, I thought you said you'd never stop 'til you reached the top"_

Riza remembered, one day, not long after Ishbal, Roy had come to her and asked her something. I want you to help me reach the top. Protect my back. And don't hesitate to shoot me if I stray from the path. At the time Riza had agreed. But now, she regretted her decision.

How could she shoot the man she loved, even when she could see so clearly that he had fallen so far from the path he was supposed to be taking. One did not reach the top by demoting themselves and sending themselves out to the bleak north. One reached the top through determination, always being dedicated to reaching the top. Roy had been like that. He was different now though.

"_Chuui, you know why I must leave, you've always known"_

Roy had told Riza so long ago all his reasons. Even Hughes he hadn't trusted with them. But he trusted the blond sniper, the only one who could control his heart. The one who made believe so much in himself.

Much as he hated himself for leaving Riza behind, he knew that she would know why. Those reasons why he had wanted to reach the top, in there was hidden the secret to his leaving. Riza wasn't dumb. She'd find them.

"_Because of the rebellion, the rebellion that scarred us both; the corrupt Military"_

It had been after Ishbal, that Roy had told her. Riza had been the person Hughes had went to when he had found Roy attempting to perform Human Transmutation. Hughes had hoped he had knocked some sense into Roy, but he knew the sniper could do better. He had seen them on the battlefield, the dedication that they held in one another.

It had worked, in a way. Roy hadn't managed to perform Human Transmutation, or even attempt it. His ambition to reach the top, to change the Military, to avenge the lives he had taken, had begun then. Riza had inspired him beyond belief.

Even though Roy was leaving, he did still want to change the Military. He was just choosing a different way to go about it. Riza would understand.

"_I know you're afraid, Taisa, but we'll stand by you"_

That was one of the things Riza had promised Roy then. By we, back then, she had meant herself and Hughes, but now, Hughes was dead. But there were so many more people who were willing to stand by Roy now. Havoc, Breda, Falman, Fuery, Ross, Bloch, Armstrong, the Elric brothers, and so many others.

All of them so dedicated to the one cause: helping Roy reach the top.

"_We'll help you find FullMetal; recover the Military to what it's supposed to be"_

Edward had disappeared, so he was now unable to help the Colonel, but there were so many others who could and would help. And even though the government had taken over running the country, the Military was still in chaos. Riza knew in her heart that only Roy could make the needed difference, he was the only one who would be able to turn the Military around.

There were still people who would help him do it. Roy could still succeed. Roy would succeed.

Riza truly believed that, with every fibre of her body.

"_Chuui, I'm so sorry, but I need to do this"_

Roy had to get over the fact that he was the one who had killed the Fuhrer. The only way he could think of doing that was by leaving Central and all his memories behind. Even if that meant leaving his precious Lieutenant, Riza behind.

Although Roy was so sure she would be able to get over it, move on with her life, something very deep inside him reminded him of what Hughes had once said about Riza. That she would never ever give up on Roy, because there was no other purpose to her life.

Roy hoped that she would find a purpose, because if he ever came back and found that she had wasted all that time waiting for him, he would never be able to survive form the guilt.

There was a part of him also, just a tiny little smidgeon, that hoped Riza would wait for him. Because he loved her, and couldn't stand seeing her with any other man. Or doing anything but protecting him.

"_Taisa, come back someday, because I'll still be waiting"_

Riza knew that Roy wouldn't be able to survive to long out there. His desires for the top were too strong. His desire for friendship, the need for people he knew and trusted about him. Two years wasn't that long. At least Roy had got to think on his decision.

His feet had trudged along Central's streets, taking him away. His feet had trudged through the snow up North, where he had forever been pondering on whether he had made the right decision. It had been his feet which had brought him back to Riza at the end of those two years. He had resisted the urge to call out, "Lieutenant," because he knew it wouldn't mean anything. Riza just stood there, saluting him. He was home.

"_Taisa"_

"_Chuui"_


End file.
